Friday, January 07, 2005

pee pee dance

this is a story I tell in jail...

My youngest boy, Elijah, eats up life, and won't consider being interrupted by even the insistent call of biological function. We'll be at the park and he is doing the unmistakable dance... a slight shuffle while holding the nozzle for dear life... and I say, "Hey Eli, do you need to use the bathroom?"... and Eli shakes his head and runs off to the next point of interest. I call out, "Hey Eli, let's just take a break for a bit, the porta pottie is just over there, and you're looking like you really need to go." ... more shuffling, more dire squeezing, but Eli can't be convinced to give it up. I either have to go over and physically pick him up, and over protests drag him of to relief, or he WILL pee himself. I know this because I have tested his will just to see what would happen.

Elijah comes by this naturally... I know that God does the same thing with me... "Hey Vern, why don't you let me handle that, take a load off?" and I say, "No Lord, I've got it... don't you worry about me, I won't bother you with this!" And I dance and shuffle and hold on to whatever is the pressing issue. And unless God in His mercy just goes ahead and grabs it from me, I wait until I pee myself. Then we have to cut our day short while I go home and change my shorts.


Blogger JJ said...

Hi Vern,

I loved what you said on some other blogs and I have some questions for you, but I couldn't find an email address, so, do you mind dropping a note to

1:16 AM  
Blogger eddie{F} said...

Just friggen fabulous Vern

I have been holding on to my pee-pee for far to long!

4:18 PM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Hey Vern,

Just read this one to my family around the dinner table tonight. My wife said to tell you we call this "the rain dance". Once the dance starts, you know it will be raining soon.

Great analogy! We bet you cleaned this up a bit for the blog, vs. the way you tell it in jail, however :)

5:48 PM  
Blogger Vern Hyndman said...


I love how some truths are universal... I bet there's a comparable story amongst aboriginal populations in remote areas. How cool it is that you read stuff you find interesting at the table... you sound like an incredibly stimulating dad, your kids are blessed.

And yes, jail is not for the faint of heart or for those who become apoplectic at the drop of the f- word. As one touches the pain imbedded in a prisoner’s heart, the language of pain is guttural and course, and I thank God when I hear it because it means we’re closing in.

I’ve been on hiatus from prison for a few months, and I really miss let’n it rip, cranking it out from the nether regions of pain, and mining for the heart.

9:20 AM  

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